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When You Need A New Car You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind you. You have to go to a repair center every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced. You accidentally drive into a junkyard, drive out, and get accused of stealing. The Blue Book lists your car under "Health Risk." The only thing holding your bumper on is the "Dukakis/Bentsen '88" sticker. You return to your car and find someone broke in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo. Evel Kneivel refuses a free lift. The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armor before parking your car. The guys at the repair shop refer you to Dr. Kevorkian.

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